How are you doing? I'm not referring to only a person, but all of you. Sorry for not keeping in touch for such a long time. Don't think I would like to give any reason for that either. Better if the past remains as memories. Just by checking your blog reminds me of all of you. I miss the days that we had together. I'll be back soon..... will you be there?
It is about time that I stop wearing masks and reveal my own self. I guess wearing masks for so long had taken its toll on me. I've been changing personality now and then which sometimes I am not sure who am I and what I want.
I had been seeking strength and security from these masks that I had forget time after time that it is God whom I should confide and ask for strength and seek security. Too often, I had wanted things to go my way rather than God's. 'Letting go and Let God' was a phrase I know but ineffectively applied on.I should have had realized earlier that I had become over confident and too controlling since years ago.
At least as I am writing now, I realized it. As the saying goes, 'it is better late than never'. A lot of changes happened these few months. Unlovely confrontation occur not because that I do not intend it, but rather that it is within my subconscious intention to have it in order to release myself from the past which I tried to breakaway for very long. It had probably hurt someone but I do pray that by now it is healed or at least feel much better. Just recently, the feelings that I had harbored against a few individuals for quite sometime had been resolved after that night. It went much better than I had expected. Guess God wants to see His children reunite again to resolve the differences to face the coming challenges.
As the period of fasting and praying is almost reaching its end, I thank God that He had put so many things back at the right track at the moment when I felt low, humble, weak, and close to Him. Like Job said, 'Naked I come into this world and naked I shall go', then we shall realized that there are much more to life than this world...
As for future interest, I have decided to explore another new field. I shall pull a slow gear for designing at the moment. I have come to realised that there is very little effort to promote creativity here. From my designer perspective, the city is really dull. I don't seem to find a lot of eye catching designing concepts here compared to KL.
For now, I shall take a rest to enjoy the solitary of the night...
4 in the morning and I still don't have any idea on how to do this page. I have been thinking on the design for quite some time now. Nothing came up. The graphics from the sites that I had weren't much fascinating either. Guess I just have to call it a day and sleep now. Nightz
7 am Sat (morning). Surely you are wondering how come I'm up so early? Well, I've been really busy these few days with quiz and also magazine preparation as well as juniors' orientation. My sleeping time has not been regular for the past many weeks. The cardiologist I met asked me to have a steady pattern of sleeping since I'm having irregular heartbeat which might be due to stress. Irregular heartbeat is common among people. You will feel like your heart skipped a beat but in fact it beats twice at a very fast rate. Hence there will be a loud sound when your heart do so. I'm better now.
I've finally moved to my house. I have my own room. It just feels good =) Will upload some pics later when I have the time, hehe.
For now, back to work...
Most of us don't like farewells, especially after we are feeling comfortable in our comfort zone. We hope that these feelings will last forever, or if not, just a little longer.
My friends, YL, ML, GL, C came from KL to Kuching =) Wow, my first visitors after 1 year. Lol. On the first day they came, we visited my faculty where I study. The next night we went to a "pub" (the definition doesn't come close to those in KL). Today we went to Carpenter street for the 'famous' kolo mee. Soon it was time to bid farewell to my dear visitors. Went to airport to see them off... Although there was limited time to get together, it's great to see you all =)
After airport, I went on to our cell group's first farewell dinner. Our 3rd years will be on their journey to Sibu tomorrow for their posting. Well, we might not be seeing them for a long time. Nevermind, it's time that we our cell group multiply in Sibu. Lol.
Interestingly, when we choose the venue for dinner, we kept on thinking of where to go. Usually we will ask our Kuching friends for opinion, since they supposedly to know Kuching better, duh? Somehow, this time, I turned to God and He showed me a place. Heh heh. Many of us were surprised when we pay cuz it is quite cheap. GC even said it's better than the one in Santubong. Haha. My advice is, turn to God who knows the world better!! (Even better than my Kuching friends) Lol.
Sudden change of emotion now. I'm feeling worried. Quiz is coming soon. Dateline for Frontline is already exceeded. Will all turn out well? My proximal arm still hurts a bit after the Hep B injection this afternoon. Thank God that this is the last dose
Let me share about things which had happened lately.
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Today in MSN a conversation went something like this:
A: Hey, I need your help (sounded desperately)
Me: Wassup?
A: The video is a mess (we talking bout the video that we're suppose to shoot for our incoming juniors' orientation)
...(cut the story short)...
Me: Then let's meet up later and see what we can do....
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Yesterday in cafeteria
B: Has X told you bout it?
Me: Yea
B: So can we use that design on our convocation dinner ticket? (Design of magazine's front cover)
Me: Sure. Pass me the details ok?
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3 days ago
C: Congrats, they like the design. Can they use it as the t shirt design as well?
Me: Ok lar... (I didn't bother much that time. Only thought of finishing up the magazine ASAP)
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1 magazine for 3 functions isn't what I have had intended for it. Towards some people, it might be a compliment. As for me, I would prefer to have 1 design for 1 function. Well, at least it will seem more proper like that since every design is tailored for its purpose.
With so many work at hand, I do really need your prayer with me. For me to do it alone, it's impossible. But, I believe in Jesus who is able enlarge our capabilities
Today seems like Friday to me. Had only an hour of lecture today. Then a quarter of the day was spent brainstorming. I'm feeling mentally exhausted now. zzzzZ
Haven't have time to update here recently. There are a lot of things in my head right now that I need to settle. The sem had just started. Currently feeling very stressed and dried up. It's only the start of second week now. Keep praying for me and with me =)
Between June and August, anyone who's reading this or anyone who remember of me, please pray for me.Christian or non-Christian too. No, I'm not asking you to go all the way to church or temple to pray or buy me any charm, but just to utter one simple sentence. "God, please help weng ken in whatever he is in need". It's ok if you just say it in your mind. It's also alright if you didn't say Amen.
I am really desperate for prayer now. Datelines, assignments, studies, creative designs, leading and planning have been very taxing for me. There isn't anyone who's reliable enough to help out also. I have to rely on God and His miracles again.
Many thanks in advance...
